Trust

Trust.

This is what I’ve been hearing Jesus say to me.

Trust Him.  Trust Jared.  Trust the process.  Trust.

How can so much change in 2 weeks?  Here I am, 2 weeks to the day that Jared was admitted to the hospital and I’m discussing his discharge from the hospital with his treatment team.  He may be coming home on Saturday!  Don’t ever discount the power of God, His people and their prayers!

It is really true.  Jared IS doing so much better.  I have seen it for myself!  But, yet it’s still hard to believe!  Last night during my visit with Jared, it was like having the “old Jared” of long, long ago…one I haven’t seen in a really, really long time.  What a gift! 

So, what’s holding me back from being fully excited of his return home?  The many questions and unknowns.  What if I don’t catch him spiraling downward again?  What if he doesn’t follow through with his treatment program?  What if he stops taking his meds?  What if he gets drawn back into unhealthy routines and habits?  What if…what if…what if…

Jared has reassured me that all of these things won’t happen.  He says he is feeling the best he has felt in a LONG time.  He says he doesn’t want to die…he wants to live.  He says he believes that something good is going to come out of this.  I really, really want to believe all of this.

I really have nothing to fear.  Jared is a kind, sensitive and loving man.  It was good to hear his genuine laugh again.  He has overcome so many of his own fears in the last 2 weeks.  He has also realized that if or when he struggles again, he knows there is help out there and that it’s okay to get it.  His hospital stay this time around was so much better than 19 years ago.

There is much to be thankful for.  So many “God moments” in all of this.  We both want to be open to whatever God is asking of us to do with our story. 

So, what am I going to do now…I guess just trust…